April 2011
1 post
“I said, “You’re such a hater.” He got so pissed and started...”
– On Prosser and SDSU basketball (via heckyeahmrvangrove)
December 2010
1 post
May 2010
6 posts
“Prosser is a loser.”
– (via heckyeahmrvangrove)
“What is this world coming to? Men can’t even be men. Women are men.”
– On powderpuff
“Van Grove is struggling for identity.”
“Let’s not bitch about a flat screen cause I’m getting one.”
Jesus
Prosser: Ask Jeeves
Student: I think you're saying "Jesus"
Prosser: I don't think he answers in text.
April 2010
20 posts
1 tag
Article 14
Any negative comment about Prosser’s music choice is not allowed. Prosser’s music frees the soul.
1 tag
Article 13
Prosser may listen to Taylor Swift during class. It’s not gay.
1 tag
Article 12
No one shall call Prosser’s daughter a ho or else there will be a HOE in his head.
1 tag
Article 11
Prosser reserves the right to grow a beard whenever he chooses.
Side note: The intensity of his beard is an indicator of how much of a “bad-ass” Prosser is on a particular day.
1 tag
Article 10
To judge how far the class has gotten off topic, Prosser will look at Devin Dahlberg. If Devin is shaking his head disapprovingly, asking questions to get back on topic, or covering his ears with his hands, Prosser has gone too far.
1 tag
Article 9
Prosser shall never start the class at the bell. Prosser allows his classes a 5 minute grace period to soak up his awesomeness before starting work.
1 tag
Article 8
The last movie you watched shall be Pearl Harbor.
Side note: If you have recently watched a movie, you must watch Pearl Harbor after to keep it the last movie you watched.
1 tag
Article 7
Hate universal healthcare.
1 tag
Article 6
When faced with an armed robber, Prosser will grab the nearest baseball bat, and face his robber with bravery. Prosser never backs down from anyone.
Exception: Armed robber sneaks up behind you at a gas station. It is then permittable to give him the money in your wallet.
1 tag
Article 5
Every word out of Prosser’s mouth is quotable. Failing to tumble about an amazing Prosser saying is punishable by death.
“The masculine edge is becoming very, very fuzzy. Lots of she-he’s running...”
“You’re about the ugliest chicks I’ve ever seen in my life. Thank god...”
– Prosser on the Powderpuff Cheerleaders
1 tag
Article 4
If Prosser stops the rocking of his rocking chair, and begins to lean forward, STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING!!! Something brilliant is about to be said.
1 tag
Article 3
If change is dropped, thou shall not pick it up, for one must pay his respects to Prosser and his wallet.
1 tag
Article 2
When referring to Mr. Olivero, use the title “that little midget”.
1 tag
Article 1
Prosser follows his own rules. Nobody tells him what to do. He’s a grown man; he can do what he wants.
1 tag
Prosser: We should have AP Cell Phone Ettiquette. Technology should not affect other people's space.
Student: Vangrove has an iPad!
Prosser: Vangrove should spend time on other things than his damn technology.
“I visualize living in China as living in a smoke filled room; you have to claw...”
Student: There was a guy in Japan that married his videogame character.
Prosser: There you go. Typical asian.
March 2010
1 post
“Senioritus is BS. It doesn’t exist. It’s like global warming.”
February 2010
16 posts
“There are more women than men. It’s cause they die from the nagging. Do...”
“He [Biggs] is not worthy of my presence. I’ll make grown men cry.”
“I use to have a fro. I looked like Jimi Hendrix. For a while I had one of those...”
“I once had a girlfriend from Texas. I used to want to hear her talk. It was...”
“Drop acid, smoke pot, weave baskets, it’s cool.”
“Peace, love, wear flowers in your hair.”
“Hello! I want a human!”
– After being on hold for so long.
“I’m right, you’re wrong.”
– On Prosser’s opinion about global warming.
“I’ve never seen a man that looked so good in pink—he’s boxers...”
– After seeing Giusti on Marauder Five.
“We want our fairy shrimp! To hell with humans, we want the shrimp.”
“They are mean as hell. They will tear you up.”
– Speaking of raccoons.
“I saw like twelve eyeballs in the garage. “Who the hell are you?”
– Regarding Prosser’s scary encounter with raccoons.
“God created towels becasuse they truly absorb water. They do it naturally. Just...”
– Prosser describing how to walk on towels when entering his classroom
“You have to get used to being a human.”
“They can’t tell me to take your imagination.”
“We [Prosser and Van Grove] are allies in the war against liberalism. Even though...”
– Prosser (via heckyeahmrvangrove)
January 2010
17 posts
“They won’t buy new textbooks, but they’ll pay for new carpet in the office. What...”
– Mr. Michael Prosser (via abandon-dignity)
“You have to understand, this was serious business. We were sweating, we were...”
– Oh Prosser, My Prosser (via zachwardcullen)
“Brains aren’t wealth, Devin. If they were, a lot of people here would be broke.”
– Mr. Prosser, my idol. (via zachwardcullen)
Student: YOU should be president!
Prosser: No, I have too many skeletons....[abruptly goes on to history]
Sixth Period Class: Huh?
Stefanie: Wait, what?!
Tracey: How many people did you kill?
Prosser: Only 2. But they NEEDED to be killed.